


Sexual Education

by plsnskanks (orphan_account)



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-20 23:48:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11345652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/plsnskanks
Summary: In which Tord tries to teach and Tom does not learn a thing





	Sexual Education

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jinx (aris rail)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=jinx+%28aris+rail%29).



Tord thinks he’s scored it big time when he finally gets the grumpy guy at his local coffee shop to give him his number. He’s this skinny sort of person who would probably look a lot grimier if it wasn’t against his work dress code. 

Either way he’s cute and Tord has been chatting him up for weeks at a time, eeking out little stories about how his roommate loves his mirrors an unhealthy amount, or how his parents were bowling balls or something. The guys cute, quirky, he’s got this offbeat sense of humor that Tord honestly finds really charming.

Found. Found charming.

Because now that he is actually working on getting the guy’s pants off, he’s starting to think that offbeat humor isn’t really humor.

“So… how about we, take this upstairs?” Tord says smiling slyly at Tom.

“Why? Is your living room TV broken?” Tom asks, eyeing the pristine looking item.

Tord gapes a little before recovering, “Uh, no, it’s just y’know, Netflix and chill isn’t really, a living room kind of thing when you have a housemate, you feel?”

Tom apparently, did not feel.

“No?”

“Tom what exactly do you think we are gonna do upstairs?” Tord asks frustrated.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Tom snaps back, folding his arms across his chest and looking confused and petulant.

“Tom do you know what “Netflix and chill” even means?” 

“Watch movies and hang out?” Tom responds, raising an eyebrow.

Tord groans and leans back bodily. If stupidity was radioactive he’d be dead ten times over by now.

“No Tom, when both partners actually understand the term, it means they’re both down to fuck,” Tord says patiently. He looks up to see Tom flushing a rather cute  
shade of pink and oh, it snaps together for him then.

If he’s being honest, Tom doesn’t give off “the innocent virgin who doesn’t know the dirty lingo” vibe. He gives off the “probably done it in a dirty gas station bathroom enough times to warrant testing the day after” kind of vibe.

But hey. If Tord can get laid by the end of the night, he is going to complain.

“So we can actually just watch Netflix if you want, I’m not gonna push you to do anything,” Tord says. And it’s true. He’s not that kind of guy, if Tom says no, he’s sure they’ll have a fine night either way and who knows, maybe next time with a little warning Tom would say-

“No it’s fine, we can, y’know,” Tom says, and his ears are still red and damn that’s cute.

So finally, Tord gets Tom upstairs and after a little makeout session he is pulling off Tom’s pants as he kisses down his stomach. He works off his underwear next, doing his best to be soft, gentle, sensual, running his hands up between Tom’s thighs, giving light little nips here and there. Finally, when Tom is breathing heavy and leaning back with his eyes closed, Tord pulls out some lube, slicks up his finger and is about to put it in, he pauses looking at Tom.

“I’m gonna put it in now,” Tord says and startles a bit as Tom’s eyes fly open.

“Put what in?”

“My finger?”

“Where?”

Tord… Tord doesn’t know what to say.

“What do you mean where?”

“I don’t know, you tell me? Where do you want to put your fucking finger?” Tom snaps and oh my sweet lord, creator of heaven and hentai, he’s serious.

He doesn’t know where.

“Tom, I’m… I’m prepping you, you do know what that is, right?”

“Prepping me? For what?”

“Tom, have you like, ever looked at porn or seen someone have sex?”

Tom gets this look. This thousand mile stare, and Tord looks into his eyes and sees nothing but vacant emptiness-

Wait never mind, he forgets that’s normal.

“Uh, I mean, one time with my parents-,” Tom begins.

“Alright, stop, okay,” Tord rubs his temple in agitation. How did Netflix and chill turn into Netflix and sex ed?

“I am going to put my finger up your ass in the hope that eventually, I can put my dick up there,” Tord says slowly. He wants to slam his hand into his face repeatedly as a look of horror and disgust rolls across Tom’s face.

“Is that a fucking joke? Because, I’ve told you like five times that I don’t find toilet humor funny,” Tom huffs. 

“Am I joking?” Tord doesn’t know if there is a limit to how exasperated one person can feel in an instant, but he has a feeling if there is, he is very quickly approaching it.

“Or like, are you just going to put it in and then pee or something?” Tom asks wrinkling his nose in disgust as he looks at Tord suspiciously.

“I actually think that is very hard to do,” Tord says as his thoughts drift to how plausible half the shit that’s common in hentai is.

“Okay, that’s it, I’m done. We aren’t doing this until you can stop joking around. Call me when you want to do this for real,” Tom says and then stands up and storms out angrily. 

Edd is in the hallway as he watches Tom angrily stomp down the hallway. He notices Edd as he is passing and says, “You’re roommates a real freak, you know that? He should be on a registry.”

“He already is- wait, what did he do?” Edd shouts after the retreating form. 

“I did not do anything!” Tord calls as the front door opens and slams shut. Edd goes to Tord’s room. 

“Really, what happened with him?” Edd asks, leaning in the doorway as he sees a despondent looking Tord, covering what is most likely a boner with a magazine that is most likely hentai.

Tord looks up at him and Edd thinks he might actually be on the verge of tears, “I do not know, I was literally showing him every ounce of common curtesy I could and that was the result.”

“Well, better luck next time,” Edd shrugs, leaving his doorway.

Tord puts his face in his hands and groans.

Miles away Tom is trying to calm himself down by looking at old scrapbooks with a glass of vodka in hand, remembering the onetime he walked in on his parents after having a nightmare to see his mom and dad vigorously clinking together on their bed. He saw everything. 

He pours himself another drink.

**Author's Note:**

> complain about how it's been a month since I've written serious tomtord over @ plsnskanks.tumblr.com


End file.
